Mother's Day is a hard day for me. Mostly because I'm not yet recognized by society as a mother. I don't have a baby bump. I don't have kids in my house. I haven't even been matched with a referral. But a friend recently shared this quote with me and it resonated on a very deep level: "A mother's love is not measured by the number of children she has in her arms but by the love in her heart." While I wrote this post several months ago, I feel like it was in anticipation of this difficult day and the quote goes perfectly alongside it.
I'm a mom.
I'm a mom who hasn't met her children yet, but loves them with every fiber of my being.
I'm a mom who prays for her kids daily even though I don't even know what they look like, how old they are, their gender or their names.
I'm a mom who reads parenting books, adoption books, etc, because I want to be the most understanding parent I can be when my kids finally arrive.
I'm a mom who worries for her kids; are they being fed, loved, and well cared for..even though I don't know if they are boys, girls or one of each.
I'm a mom who is setting up a room for when our kids finally arrive, buying little trinkets of our love for them even now, thinking about paint colors, bedding, and cute wax print clothes I can have made for them, even though I don't know what size they will be when they come home.
I'm a mom who is "talking" to her kids in the form of writing them letters weekly about what is going on in the adoption process, the setbacks, the victories, the joys and trials. Sharing with them the people that even right now love them, are praying for them and are anxious to meet them.
I'm a mom who is thinking of fun activities, projects, games and pinning teachable activities for our kids. Thank you Pinterest!
I'm a mom who desperately longs for her family to be together and hurts every time some one says something so careless like "Don't have children because they are handfuls," or "Ugg my kids drive me crazy," or "You're lucky you don't have kids. You can sleep late, travel and do whatever you want!"
I'm a mom who has to lean on God every second of every day to get through the day so the waves of *insert whatever emotion you want* don't overwhelm me.
I'm a mom. I may not have a pregnant belly, but I'm paper pregnant. I'm a mom in waiting. I'm an expectant mother.
I'm a mom.
