Friday, May 17, 2013

Harold

Some of you may have heard a smattering on the news a couple months back about some kids in the capital that died in a fire. They were young boys that were given to a teacher so they could learn the Qu'ran. It was devasting and caused a quite a stir in our country, but as quickly as it happened it was forgotten. People moved on with their lives and the uproar was quelched in many hearts.

I have not forgotten. I can't forget because everyday I am surrounded by these boys, normal kids, some of whom were taken from their homes, sold or kidnapped to be in service of these "teachers". There is a constant internal battle in my heart about how to help, if I can help and what difference any of it would make. One of our biggest struggles is not being the white person who hands out money to solve the problem, who doesn't actual care, who doesn't take into consideration the culture, who just makes things worse. It's easy to say that things other cultures practice are wrong and it's even easier to throw money at the problem in hopes that it will go away. Like I said, every day when I see these boys begging on the street for money for their teacher, for food for their teacher or even food for themselves, my heart breaks into pieces. If I could, I would adopt every one of them. I seriously would.

Enter "Harold"

How could you not love this face?!


Harold says that he is 14 although he looks more like 10. He doesn't know where his village is or the name of it. He simply knows that it's near the country to the south. He is quiet but when he speaks his voice is hoarse like that of a smoker. He's skinny. He has THE best smile! He's respectful. And he calls B his dad.

B met him in the market one day with all his fellow "friends", i.e. the boys that he "learns" with and begs with, and B bought some fruit, peeled it (so they are forced to eat it) and gave it to them all. And that simple act was enough to make Harold seek B out. The second time we saw Harold I was with B and again we bought some fruit, peeled it and gave it to him. But this time he asked us questions, which doesn't really happen. Where are you from? How long have you been here? Do you have any kids? Will you be my parents?....wait what? Excuse me?? Did he just say that?? Instantly my heart crumbled and I'm pretty sure I cried on the way home.

We didn't see Harold for a couple months because we were busy, but when he found us again he came running with a huge beautiful smile and said "I thought you left me." Again...crumbled. So B invited him and his friends over for lunch. Now I have to admit that I was a little nervous because these kids travel in packs! Usually there are anywhere from 3-10 kids all begging together so we weren't sure what to expect for lunch. But at 1pm there was a knock on our door and there stood Harold. All by his lonesome. We asked where his friends were and he just shrugged, came in, washed and ate. We prayed with him, for him and thanked God for the opportunity to show love to Harold. We told him to come back every week at a certain time and we'd have lunch for him and whoever he wanted to bring. "Thanks Dad and Mom" was all he said and then he left. He's come back every week by himself for lunch. We think that he just wants the time to himself. Last week B shared with him some Bible stories when Harold asked what we did here. Techinically this is illegal so B kept it brief. We tell him that we do this because Jesus loves him, because God commands us to love others. Each time he stays a little bit longer, plays with our dogs and just talks. And every time before he leaves he says "Thanks Dad and Mom."

This is our small way of showing these boys that God loves him. I know it's only one boy, but this one boy has a full belly once a week, gets a hug and a smile and gets some love. We keep telling Harold to bring some friends, so we'll see if he ever does. I pray for these boys and their families. I pray that somehow the laws here will change, that people will recognize the plight of these boys, that somehow God break through into this darkness and that these boys will somehow have the chance feel our Father's love.

If you'd like to know more about these boys, check out this link here or here or feel free to message me with questions.
Read More »

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Getting rid of the old

Fabric and clothes have been on my mind lately, mostly due to Gazelle Skirt, a fashion blog that some friends up north started. They put out a Outfit of the Day challenge for a week and I thought "why not?" But then I started looking at my clothes and realized that I haven't had a new outfit made in two years!

Having clothes made by a tailor is a normal part of life for me and thousands of other women who live in Africa. For me it's a bit stressful because I'm not the most decisive person in the world. It's hard for me to pick a style sometimes out of the 15 magazines I have to choose from or out of the 15 million (that may be a slight exaggeration) people walking around. Most of the time it's pretty easy for me to find the fabric I want. Actually B would say that most of the time it's hard for me to find fabric I don't want :) He's probably right!

So I bit the proverbial bullet and cleaned out my drawers, throwing giving away two bags full of clothes. American t-shirts mostly and some skirts that I just don't wear or that are kinda worn out. Then I took some fabric to a new tailor and some fabric to my usual tailor to see which one I liked better. My usual tailor is great. He's inexpensive, does a great job on construction, but he's not creative in any way shape or form! So unless I pick out or take him a very specific outfit, he's stuck. But this new tailor I went to had tons of magazines, was invested in helping me find a vision for my outfit and was much more expensive. All in all they both did a great job and I have some new outfits!

Headed to a wedding
 in my new rainbow outfit :)

Off to the village

I also picked up an outfit from a tailor I tried back in October that has been gone since then. Needless to say, I won't be using him again!



Although it took forever, he did
a good job on this
 pink and blue metallic wax print. 

Sometimes it's so refreshing to get rid of the old!!





Read More »

Thursday, May 2, 2013

I don't mean to brag

I don't mean to brag, but I have a wonderful husband!

We've been married for 6 years and like most couples we struggle sometimes in the area of communication. I think he should know what I need or want him to do. For whatever reason I think he's psychic. We've talked about these things, yelled about these things, cried about these things, but we always walk away more committed and in love than before.

You see I'm not one who easily shares my deep feelings. As I've stated before, I'm an introvert who keeps things inside. And I've always had the misconception that if you know me, really know me, then you should know what I like, what I don't like, what I need from you and what I will give to you. But that's just plain wrong. I think I've finally realized that. This has been an absurd year for me. Lots and lots and lots of hurt feelings, unrealistic expectations of me and of others, and lots and lots of crying. And through it all B has stood by me and uplifted me in a way I didn't even realize I needed. Sometimes this insight that he has makes it harder to realize that he doesn't know my every need or want. But through it all I realize that I so often take him for granted and I'm often harder on him than I should be.

For example: We're night owls fueled by a culture around us that also stays up late. Most nights we don't get to bed before midnight because we are outside talking to friends and neighbors. Unfortunately our house helper comes between 8-9 am three days a week which means that our house needs to be picked up so that she can work. Every day this week, B has woken up early and picked up the house all the while letting me sleep. He hasn't said a word! He hasn't complained that I'm not helping or that I get a few extra minutes of sleep than he does. He just does it. How often though have I grumbled when he doesn't help me? A lot.

Isn't he so handsome?!


So I'm going to be a better wife. I started a study this morning about what a godly wife looks like and I'm excited to see where it takes me. I did one of these before we got married, but life just gets in the way sometimes you know? I get distracted, busy and forget sometimes the person I'm striving to be. I love B so much more today than I did yesterday or the day before. He's the one I didn't know I needed and I thank God everyday for that. And I just want to be that for him every day too.


Read More »