Too soon

Today we lost a brother. Today one of our brothers in Christ went to be with his heavenly Father. He was young. Young enough to not be out of high school yet. Too young to leave this place. But God is in control and while we may not understand it we can cling to His promises. We can cling to knowing that we will see our brother again in heaven and walk hand in hand with him. Please pray with us for our brother’s family, for his friends and his village as they grieve his departure. Pray with us that maybe someone will come to know Christ through this painful time. 

Read More »

As happy as a bird with a french fry

"I will not go hooommmmeeee. I will not go hooommmeeee. I will not go.....".

Every time we visit Michael's house his second youngest daughter "Sarah" begs and begs to go on a car ride. One time we took her mom, her sister and her down the street on our way home and her mom had to literally drag her out the car while she screamed bloody murder. I tried really hard not to laugh but it was hilarious. Her mom threw her over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and Sarah just stuck her arms out screaming my name. Like her mom was a stranger and she was being taken away from her family forever. Again...kinda hilarious.

When we took our volunteers the other day, as usual Sarah followed us to the car and beat on the doors saying that she wanted to go with us. I felt so awful that I promised that I would come back at the end of the day and take her and her two older siblings for a ride. And as promised a volunteer, A, and I arrived with big smiles and promises of a great time in the truck. 

We got in the truck and Sarah started waving at all the kids on the street yelling "Buuhhhbyyyeeee!!!" And lots waving. I'm pretty sure there was waving like a prom queen involved . We drove around for about 30 minutes, just laughing and having a blast. A kept trying to take her picture and she would stop smiling long enough for the picture and then burst into a fit of giggles. Needless to say, A didn't end up with a smiling photo. 

After 30 minutes or so I started heading back to their house but I thought I was doing it subtly. This was not the case. All of the sudden Sarah stuck her bottom lip out as far as she could get it and started saying in THE most pathetic voice, "I will not go home. I will not go home. I will not go." It was so funny!! I tried and tried and tried not to laugh and reminded her that her mom would be very sad if she didn't come home but she wasn't having it. She just crossed her arms and pouted, chanting " I will not go home" until we arrived. 

As we all piled out of the car, she just sat there pouting and looking like she was about to erupt into tears. Finally her mom came over and pulled her out of the car. She cried and cried until she noticed that her older sister had found a brochure in our car with photos on it. A fight ensued until I could find her something of her own. Are you ready? A Texas Baptist Convention newsletter (hope the teammates don't mind!). Yes that is what I gave a screaming crying 3 or 4 year old. And she was as happy as a bird with a french fry. She ran off laughing and wouldn't even say goodbye to us. Again...hilarious!

So that's Sarah. She is as ornery as can be. Shows you she loves you by hitting you and banging on your car until you give her a ride. She is spoiled rotten! And I love her! I think I'm just glad I can give her back at the end of the day or 30 minutes :)

She has ornery written all over her face!

Oh Sarah...what are we to do with you?!

Read More »

The little things

When I went back to the States it was really surreal. On the way back home it felt like I hadn't been gone very long, but when we drove up to my family's house and the trees were 10 ft taller, the house was completely redecorated and landscaping was different it felt like I had been gone longer than 3.5 years.

The few people I saw asked three questions: How does it feel to be back home? What do you want to do/eat? What is on your shopping list? In all honesty I felt completely stupid answering these questions. Not because the questions were stupid, but because I really didn't have anything on my list. My list was small and full of really small items like coffee from 222 Bakery downtown, St. Louis Bread Co., a jeans needle for my sewing machine and gold sharpies.

Sidenote: I LOVE Sharpies. If you ever want to make my day, send me sharpies. Any color, any size will do. I will think you are the best and most thoughtful friend EVER!

Back to my list. It was really small. Command strips. Jeans needle. Contact paper. Outlet plates. Drywall screws. Concealer. I did manage to pack up another storage locker and a suitcase full of things to bring back. Beef jerky for B, fruit snacks, Starburst, a new hat for B and some new earrings. Small stuff.

American goodies..deodorant, gold sharie, eye makeup, contact paper, chalkboard, travel wallet,  iTouch stand

Looking back on the trip I think it was much needed. We will have served for 4 years before we leave this wonderful country for a bit. Most people get really focused on their last few months, counting down the days and hours until they get back to the States. It can really impede the ministry that you are doing because your focus is no longer here. I have been slightly worried about this, hoping that I could keep myself busy and focused, but after this trip I know it won't be a problem. It was just what I needed to finish our term here strong. A good long hug from my grandparents. Many many laughs with my family. Some Cracker Barrel pancakes and a QT Diet Mountain Dew fountain soda. 7 months doesn't seem so long now!

Cracker Barrel pancakes are THE best!!

Diet Mountain Dew fountain soda from QT..the first stop out of the airport :)

Read More »

A wedding and many tears

Earlier this year I had another one of those "firsts" that you experience living overseas. Another reminder that you are terribly far away from loved ones and not in any way a part of their normal life any more. Another thing that you don't get to be a part of like others do, another thing that you have to fight to feel like you belong.

My brother got engaged. 

This was really hard for me, not only because he will always be my little brother whom I worry about, love more than he can know and am so proud of, but because I didn't get to experience it with him or my family. I didn't know the girl woman that he feel in love with. I didn't get to see the ring or hear about the dates. I didn't get to be there for the anxiousness before the proposal. I just wasn't there. I was here, in West Africa, reminding myself that I followed God's will for me and I was supposed to be here not there. 

Living overseas can create a deep need to belong. To not be excluded. You no longer get invitations to weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, birthday parties. You can sometimes feel left out. Despite family/friends trying their best to include you, sometimes it's just impossible to feel included.  In fact some people don't share things with you because they don't want you to feel left out. But it just makes it worse. All we really want to hear is how great it was and how much you wish that we were there too. So when all this happened with my brother, I felt so excluded. Left out. Which was selfish of me, terribly selfish. 

Which got me thinking...how many times do I do this exact thing to God? I leave Him out of my plans all too often. I don't talk to Him enough or trust in Him enough. I exclude Him, make Him feel like He doesn't belong in my life. In little things mostly, but sometimes the big things. I wonder how that makes Him feel. 

All too often I, we, become absorbed in our own feelings and lose sight of what really matters. God. Others. I had to take a step back, a huge step and realize that despite my feelings being valid, they weren't what mattered. What matters is God and what He desires my life to be. What matters is my brother's happiness. Yes my feelings were real, needed to be heard and sympathized with, but then my focus needs to be on Him who gives me this huge opportunity each day. Who allows me to be a part of something bigger than myself. My focus needs to be on other people's happiness. My joy needs to come from Him and through Him. My brother's happiness should (and does) make me happy. It didn't matter what I felt, what mattered is what my brother felt. 

I'm happy to report that my brother is now married to a wonderful woman who I had the pleasure of finally meeting and who I look forward to knowing better when we are in the States. My wonderful amazing self sacrificing parents paid for me to come back for the wedding and (despite a rough start) I was able to watch my brother make the second most important decision of his life. I was able to enjoy a few days in America (more later) and do some shopping. And I was able to hug my grandparents (this was huge because I didn't get to hug my grandma goodbye), several of my aunts, and a few great friends.

Happy Day!!

And I might have had my hair cut :) And had my hair revitalized :) 

Read More »