I don't mean to brag

I don't mean to brag, but I have a wonderful husband!

We've been married for 6 years and like most couples we struggle sometimes in the area of communication. I think he should know what I need or want him to do. For whatever reason I think he's psychic. We've talked about these things, yelled about these things, cried about these things, but we always walk away more committed and in love than before.

You see I'm not one who easily shares my deep feelings. As I've stated before, I'm an introvert who keeps things inside. And I've always had the misconception that if you know me, really know me, then you should know what I like, what I don't like, what I need from you and what I will give to you. But that's just plain wrong. I think I've finally realized that. This has been an absurd year for me. Lots and lots and lots of hurt feelings, unrealistic expectations of me and of others, and lots and lots of crying. And through it all B has stood by me and uplifted me in a way I didn't even realize I needed. Sometimes this insight that he has makes it harder to realize that he doesn't know my every need or want. But through it all I realize that I so often take him for granted and I'm often harder on him than I should be.

For example: We're night owls fueled by a culture around us that also stays up late. Most nights we don't get to bed before midnight because we are outside talking to friends and neighbors. Unfortunately our house helper comes between 8-9 am three days a week which means that our house needs to be picked up so that she can work. Every day this week, B has woken up early and picked up the house all the while letting me sleep. He hasn't said a word! He hasn't complained that I'm not helping or that I get a few extra minutes of sleep than he does. He just does it. How often though have I grumbled when he doesn't help me? A lot.

Isn't he so handsome?!

So I'm going to be a better wife. I started a study this morning about what a godly wife looks like and I'm excited to see where it takes me. I did one of these before we got married, but life just gets in the way sometimes you know? I get distracted, busy and forget sometimes the person I'm striving to be. I love B so much more today than I did yesterday or the day before. He's the one I didn't know I needed and I thank God everyday for that. And I just want to be that for him every day too.

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Almost drowning

In October I had the privilege of translating for a team in a village about an hour away. I love translating, although it can be very hard, because it sometimes gives me that extra push to be bold that I need. Anyway, I was translating in the compound of a man that had heard the Gospel a year prior and he listened intently to everything that was being said and kept saying "This is good. This is good." which we hear all the time. But as the volunteers were leaving, he pulled me aside and said, "I accept." That was it.. "I accept." In those two words, any desire I had to leave evaporated and we stood there talking about what he meant. Long story short, in those few minutes after the team left, this man accepted Christ. I was privileged enough to be there when he did. I was privileged enough to be the reaper of many others including me and my B who had sowed the seed.  What a rush!!!

Unfortuanately all of October, November and December was filled with teams and so we didn't have a lot of time to get back out to his house. But we'd given him an audio Bible and had called him every month. So when we finally had time, his house was our first stop. We took a friend,"Michael" with us so that he could share his testimony and talk about baptism. And sure enough, our new friend was ready so off we went.

We got out to the pool of water, which was dirty, murky and white from the soil and the two men started walking down into the water. At this point a nice little bird decided to fly down and disrupt the surface of the water which caused both men to literally jump and come running back to the shore. HIL.A.RIOUS! "Michael" has baptized people before, but apparently he forgot to really explain what was going to happen. So we prayed and our new friend bent at the waist as "Michael" pushed his head down....and held it! Our new friend just stood there, bent at the waist with his head completely submerged and "Michael" just held his head under. He started yelling at him "Bend your knees. Bend your knees!" but seeing as his head was under the water he couldn't hear. So finally after what seemed like minutes (actually it was probably only 15 seconds), our new friends bent his knees and went all the way under. They came up laughing and carrying on like two old friends and I sighed a huge sigh of relief that we hadn't just drowned our new friend!

So note to self: When having someone perform a baptism, even if they've done it lots before, make sure they explain what is supposed to happen so they don't accidentally drown the person!

Headed down

"Welcome to the family" what "Michael" said to him after.

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"Crazy" pants means a crazy me

A fellow worker here in our country recently blogged about her "crazy" pants (although on her the fabric looks totally and completely normal and adorable!) . Pants made with the loud print, brightly colored fabrics that you grow to love and laugh at when you live here. One of my favorite things to do when I'm needing a shopping fix is to wander through the fabric stalls in the market and look at all the fabulous fabrics. The people here are not shy when it comes to thinking of some interesting prints. I've seen toasters, chickens, peas in their pods, motorcycles, brooms and so much more all boldly emblazoned on bright multicolored fabrics. And we're not talking about small prints. We're talking 12 inch toasters every 2 inches!  I LOVE it!

I've had pants on my list of sewing projects so after seeing her post I was inspired. I went digging through all my fabric to find something that I didn't necessarily want a whole outfit made out of, something that I could mess up without crying over. I scanned my bookmarks and finally found the link taking me to what the blogger described as the easiest method of making pants.  I thought...one hour tops and I'll have a pair of pants. That should have been my clue that it would take longer and be far more complicated!

6 hours later (including some much needed breaks before I ripped everything around me to shreds and countless seams ripped) I had my pants...not perfect, slightly irregular pants. I don't think I can bring myself to wear them around in public but I will proudly wear them in the house and compound :)

"Crazy" pants with my crazy dog

Lesson learned: Next time I want pants...just go to the stinking tailor!

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Being an introvert

Being an introvert is hard, as I'm sure some extroverts would say the same thing. But I feel really strongly that there are double standards for introverts and extroverts. It's something that has bothered me all my life, people expecting me to be different or being mad at me for being who I am. I don't understand it, why people think that introverts should be different. I just don't understand.

I have spent most of my life feeling inadequate, unworthy and incapable. I have amazing parents who tried continuously to change the voices in my head but to no avail. I have spent countless hours wondering why I feel this way and I have finally figured out a piece of the puzzle. I'm an introvert and most people are not okay with that. Let me try to explain...

As an extrovert you share your life openly, without being asked and gladly. You hardly ever have problems being in a crowd of people or meeting new people. You look forward to each and every social scenario that you find yourself in and walk away feeling energized. You usually have lots of close friends.

As an introvert you are private, you take time to open up to people and it's hard. You mostly have problems with being in a crowd or being the center of attention and it's hard and awkward to meet new people. Social settings are draining and tiring. You may know a lot of people, but you only have one or two close friends.

These are all generalizations, but I think that for the most part they are true. At least they are true of me and my husband.

I am damaged. I don't trust people easily with my inner most thoughts. I don't open up easily. You can ask around, it can be hard to get to know me but once you are in, you're in. Once I finally trust you with myself, it takes a lot for me to lose that trust. Once I trust our friendship, I am an open book. I share probably too much information sometimes. I cry, I laugh, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and ask for your help. If I don't ask for help, it's because I don't need any right then.

It's not that I don't like being around people, I do. I like people. I want to know people, to hear their stories and to have deep friendships. Being around a lot of people for long periods of time does make me tired, but I still want to do it. After a team leaves I need a day or two to recover. That doesn't make me weak or incapable. It's just what I need.

So many times in my life, especially lately, I feel like the extroverts want me to be an open book right now. And when I'm not I get criticized for it, I'm closed off, that I don't want to share my life, I need to change. Why? I don't walk around thinking that extroverts should be different nor do I judge the extraverts because of their differences. I don't expect them to be quiet, to be alone, to not be who they are. But they expect me to change? To be different? Why can't you have patience with me? Encourage me and walk with me to build my trust? Why can't you accept me for who I am? An introvert. I accept your extrovertedness so please accept my introvertedness.

So to all you extroverts that think introverts are weak people, incapable, or need to be open books please take a minute to pause in reflection and try to accept us for who we are, where we are. And to all you introverts who think extroverts need to change, do the same. We are all God's children and we need to learn to accept each other where we are and not try to change each other without good reason.

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15 days

One day two great ladies thought of a way to get to know people, see their artistic skills, what inspires them and maybe possibly a way to some new work. They put a challenge out there...for the first 15 days of February take pictures based on some inspirational words and share them with others. Simple. 

I've done photo challenges before, but I've always kept them to myself because well I'm not exactly the most confident person in the world. But I decided to take the risk and participate, posting my pictures and allowing others to see a different side of me, one that most people don't ever see. 

It's been so much fun, waking up and trying to be inspired by the world around me in a new and different way. So here are my pictures for the whole world to see what has gotten my attention in the past 15 days :)

Day 1: Navigating the market TRAFFIC. 

Day 2: The REDness of a banana flower in our yard

Day 3: SWEET OR SAVORY, you choose!

Day 4: New GROWTH on a tree

Day 5: Shoes waiting to be filled with FEET

Day 6: TIME...36,036 days on this earth and counting..this is my African grandma.
She told me I was her lost child after we spent the day in her village.

Day 7: The DARKNESS of shade

Day 8: The SCENT of dried grass ready for a roof

Day 9: My favorite WORD on the hot days...or 8 months out
of the year.

Day 10: Lunch can't get any FRESHer than this!

Day 11: CHILDREN..boys will be boys.

Day 12: The ARCHITECTURE of a home

Day 13: The MOVEMENT of laundry
blowing in the wind

Day 14: Making himself a perfect 10 O'CLOCK snack
from some old cashews

Day 15: The JOY of new friends after holding hands all day

Note: I was out of commission for days 7-13 so those were all taken on Day 14 when I was finally feeling better and we went out. 

Note: Day 15 is a picture of the first of many little friends I've made here. Her village is the first one we were welcomed into and she held my hand all day, walked with me and sat right next to me. Every time we go out there, she comes running and my heart melts with JOY!

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Brioche Fig Bread Pudding

For Christmas this year we decided that we just needed to be by ourselves and spend some time in reflection and prayer. So I cooked...a lot. Cooking for me is relaxing, enjoyable and comforting. Lots of times when I've cooked for people, they say things like "Don't trouble yourself" or "You don't need to spend all day cooking for us" or "We can just have sandwiches". But what most people don't realize is that I LOVE to cook, to try new recipes and to be in the kitchen. It's where I spent a good deal of time with my grandma and my mom...just watching them cook and bake, helping where I could and just enjoying that time with them. So being in the kitchen all day on Christmas seemed like the perfect way to have some relaxation and reflection time. 

This is a recipe I came up with to satisfy the need for some Christmasy dessert. Lots of cinnamon, cloves and vanilla made a little more old fashioned with the addition of figs and almonds. And I don't normally brag on my food, but this was FAN.TAS.TIC! The only thing that could have made it better was some hand whipped cream melting on top. So if you are in the mood for a super easy and filling dessert, perfect for winter time even in Africa, give it a try and let me know what you think!

And sorry...no pictures. But let me tell you it was gorgeous!

Brioche Fig Bread Pudding

3 cups of brioche bread cut into 1" cubes and laid out overnight to dry out

2 cups of milk

1 cup of sugar

5 eggs

1 1/2 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp almond extract 

1 tsp of cinnamon

1/2 tsp of cloves

pinch of nutmeg

Fig jam/compote

Combine milk, sugar and eggs and whisk until eggs are incorporated. Add vanilla, almond extract, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. Stir to combine. 

Put half of the bread cubes into a 8" oval dish. Drop spoonfuls of fig jam onto the bottom layer about every 1 1/2" inches or so. Add the rest of the bread cubes. Pour milk mixture over the bread and press the bread into the milk to ensure that every piece is wet. Let stand in the fridge for at least 30 minutes (this is a great time to finish up dinner!).

Bake at 350F for 30-40 minutes or until the dish is set (i.e. not runny or too giggly). Let cool for a few minutes and then serve! 

I put mine in while we were eating dinner and it was done by the time we were done. It was gorgeous and poofy. As it cools it settles in a bit, so don't be surprised to see that it's not quite as poofy when you are ready to eat.

Enjoy!!

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It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

Cold season has arrived just in time for Christmas and I am savoring every minute of it! Here's just a small idea of what this time of year looks like for us...

1. Long pants and socks..only inside the house of course because socks outside would be ridiculous and wind up black...unless they were black to begin with...but we aren't so far gone as to wear black socks with tennis shoes!

2. Seeing Africans walking around in down coats, scarves and stocking hats. Hil.ar.ious.

3. Reintroducing scarves to my wardrobe!!!

4. Being able to drink hot coffee in the morning and hot tea at night.

5. Actually being able to snuggle with B at night without one of us saying "Stop touching me. You're making me sweat!"

6. Speaking of sleeping, sleeping with blankets and sheets again. Enter my down comforter which my father told me was crazy to bring but which I brought for sentimental reasons and...well lets face it for beautifying the bedroom...now I'm so glad that I brought it because I can use it again!

7. Taking a hot shower on purpose and staying in longer to stay warm

8. Not having to wash clothes quite so often because they aren't soaked in sweat by the end of the day!

9. Our dog, Ani, wanting to snuggle!

Now lots of people will ask me "What's the temperature for cold season?". I have no idea. My reasoning is simple....why do I want to know the temperature? When it's hot and humid, does it matter that it's 100 or 110 degrees? When it's cold to me, does it matter that it might actually only be in the 80's? I think I'm better off not knowing and just appreciating the weather as it is. But that's just my humble opinion. I will say that all my Midwest blood that makes me be able to take freezing cold weather and snow has pretty much evaporated in the heat here so anything cooler than 85 might as well be 45. 

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